Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
Sometimes it can be difficult to know what to do with an emotion while you are in the middle of it. You may react quickly, shut down, feel overwhelmed, or know afterwards what you wish you had done differently.
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, or DBT, offers practical ways to understand what is happening and respond more intentionally during difficult moments.
In-person therapy in Toronto and Thornhill • Virtual therapy across Ontario
What Is DBT?
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy combines two ideas that can sometimes feel opposite: accepting what is happening now while also working toward something different.
You can understand why you reacted the way you did and still want to respond differently next time. You can make room for an emotion without needing to act on everything you feel in that moment.
DBT includes practical skills for emotions, relationships, stressful situations and staying connected to the present.
Acceptance Does Not Mean Giving Up
Recognizing what is happening does not mean liking it or deciding that it should stay the same.
Four DBT Skill Areas
Mindfulness
Paying attention to what is happening right now without immediately needing to judge it, fix it, or push it away.
Distress Tolerance
Finding ways to get through difficult moments without doing something that creates more difficulty afterwards.
Emotion Regulation
Understanding emotions, what can intensify them, and what may help you respond differently.
Interpersonal Effectiveness
Working on asking for what you need, setting boundaries and navigating disagreement.
You do not need to learn or use every skill. We can focus on what is actually relevant to what you are dealing with.
When Might DBT Be Considered?
DBT may be worth considering when it is hard to respond the way you would like during emotional or stressful moments.
Feeling overwhelmed by emotions
Reacting quickly and regretting it afterwards
Difficulty asking for what you need
Shutting down when things feel like too much
Difficulty setting boundaries
Knowing what you want to do differently but struggling in the moment
Having one of these experiences does not automatically mean DBT is the right approach. We can first understand what has been happening and decide together whether DBT, another approach, or a combination may be useful.
What Can DBT Look Like in Therapy?
We may begin with something that happened recently and slow it down enough to understand what you were feeling, what you needed and how you responded.
If a particular DBT skill fits what we are discussing, we can practise it together. Other times, understanding why the situation was difficult may be more useful than immediately trying to change it.
You are not expected to remember the “right” skill in every difficult moment. If something does not help, that gives us information we can use to adjust.
I draw from DBT skills within individual therapy rather than offering a comprehensive DBT program.